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Did you hear that the population of the Earth went over seven billion on Halloween? I hadn’t really thought much about it until I got wrapped up in some random chat with a guy in front of the magazine rack at the Quiki Mart the other day.
Like usual, my brain wasn’t completely in the game yet; I was down there to load up on Slushies and Fritos. Anyway, this guy starts in on me and the dude behind the counter about how are we going to feed all those people? I said that I wasn’t going to share my Fritos, and the counter guy pointed out that the seven billionth person was still a baby and probably didn’t eat much anyway.
The dude who was freaking out said that at the rate things are going, it wouldn’t be very long until we reach 10 billion. The medicos are working at keeping people around longer, a fifth of those 10 billion are gonna be over the age of 65. That started to worry me.
I was thinking about it some more while I rode my bike home. I don’t know what it’s like at your family reunions, but once folks in my clan hit middle age, they start to eat a lot! I mean, it is kind of tough to get any more chairs to fit on that side of the table, if you know what I mean.
Then I hit on the answer, and it’s good for population control and food shortage; lets eat the old folks! I know cannibalism sounds kind of gruesome at first, but it really can’t be that bad. (“Soylent Green is people, Dude!”) I watch enough late-night Discovery Channel to know that “Long Pig” was considered a delicacy on some South Pacific islands not all that long ago. Probably more than a few missing World War II pilots have wound up in someone’s pot!
If you think about it, the best meat in the world is supposed to be Kobe beef, and those cows just hang out all day, munching grass and getting bovine massages. A lot of Kobe ranchers even give their cattle beer to help keep them happy. If a well-marbled slab of Kobe is so good, just think about some of the specimens you’ve seen wandering around Walmart with too little spandex trying to cover too much… something.
But then I did a little research, and it turns out people just aren’t that nutritious. What does this have to do with gaming n00bs? Not much, except that my kid brother just got this cool zombie game…
